How do you know when it’s time to say goodbye to something? How do you decide that you do not want to revisit something that is stuck in your head like termites to a wall – creeping and slowly taking control of your mind?
Well, it’s not that simple.
There are steps to saying goodbye to something that was once a part of your life. I won’t go through all of them. I don’t want to preach.
The hardest thing about letting go of something is accepting it’s presence and interference in your life now. You see, a lot of the times, we consciously choose not to let go of things because we’re scared of finding things better than that – of creating things better than that. We only want what we had – we’re scared of finding something better – something new.
Why do we do that? Why do we trap ourselves in a position that we could easily get out of, if we just gave control back to the gut not the mind?
The mind plays games. It makes us think we’re rational when we’re not.
Now for those of you who have nothing to let go, this blog may not make any sense, sorry about that. But for those of you who do, you have already adapted this to fit your own personal narrative.
I’m glad you did that, because I have a follow-up question already.
Is it worth it?
The thing you’re trying to let go – is it worth keeping in your head and life for so long that you let yourself feel miserable every time you think of it?
Before you start thinking I am talking about my love life here, hold that thought. Look, this doesn’t have to be that dark. We let go of a lot of things on a daily basis: that awkward thing you did that gave you social anxiety and now is the only thing you’re thinking of, that sweater that you love but you know you’re never going to wear it so you know you have to give it away, that tasty bowl of pasta that sit in the fridge too long and now is not so tasty anymore?
But we also do let go of things on a grander scale – a thing that you had an emotional connection to, a person that you had an emotional connection to, a pet that you had an emotional connecti-
Wait a second. Emotional. EMOTIONAL. AH.
It all clicks now. Letting go is hard because of them good ol’ emotions! Ah, them sneaky little individuals.
Let’s revisit my question now. Is it worth keeping in your head? Are they worth keeping in your head?
I know what you’re thinking – Sakhi, duh. Yes they’re worth it. That’s why I’m still reading this stupid blog post of yours that seems to have no ending and tons of random bs.
I promise it’s coming to an end. I promise.
You said they’re worth it, because you have an emotional connection with them (yes okay I know that’s super obvious, I’m sorry). But I guess one thing I never realised was that while they were worth it, the stress and anxiety that comes with holding yourself back for them is just… it’s exhausting. I guess I just realised that it is not worth controlling my present if it was in my past (clichéd, I apologise for it).
Accepting this is hard. Accepting that my past life has ceased to exist was so hard, I’m not going to lie. Snapchat memories and throwback YouTube videos just make it even harder. Accepting that my emotions around that were interfering my present life was even harder.
There are at least 12 things that I can think of that I’m trying to let go, but they are all tied to my past. I yearn to live in the present, you know. I know some of you do too. There are days when I fall back right into the trap of questioning why I’m even trying to let go of things that I don’t want to let go of. On those days, I make myself a hot cup of coffee, take a book, and just read. I read whatever I can. And when I read, I find myself resonating with lines that aren’t even supposed to be about my life.
I fit them to my personal narrative.
Every line feels like a calling from my gut, every word feels like a message from the soul. It feels like it is telling me to take action about these pent up thoughts and emotions. More than often, the words feel like a direct call to let go of things in my brain.
So here’s to the things I want to let go of. I don’t want to accept that I want to let you go, but I know I have. For the longest time. I yearn for you to go away – only because it’s easier to be more present and love my future wholeheartedly.
Throw away that pink sweater that is taking up space in your closet – you know you deserve better sweaters. Let go of that one exam you scored poorly on. It may feel like the end of the world but it isn’t. I promise. Let go of your fear of not being good enough. Your worst enemy is only you. Let go of that shame you have from something bad you’ve done. You deserve the world and you know it. Let go of anything that makes you feel like you’re trapped or stuck. You deserve freeness. Let go of anyone that makes you feel like you’re too little or too much of. You’ll find your people.
The only thing that’s stopping you is accepting its presence. Fit this to your personal narrative.